Ways to Feel Confident

One of my favorite new(ish) blogs to follow is Cupcakes and Cashmere, and this week, Emily posted her 8 Steps For Feeling Confident. I love this, and identified with so much.

I was definitely super-awkward growing up, and even through college, I never really felt particularly confident about myself – I was too boring, too dorky, too anti-social, never had the right clothes, never knew what to do with my hair, never had a huge group of close friends…

However, I was lucky in that I had a loving, supportive family, a guy who thought I was the coolest despite all my insecurities, and a core group of friends who appreciated me for who I was. The turning point, I believe, was after I graduated from college and started looking back over my undergraduate years. Some people might wish they had gone out more, partied more, made more friends, not worked as hard. However, I looked back at my college years and realized that I didn’t regret a thing. Sure, I did my homework on Saturday nights (or stayed in with my roommate watching Pride and Prejudice for the hundredth time). Sure, I didn’t have a ton of friends. Sure, I didn’t drink that much. But I did exactly what I wanted to do, and I was happy with that.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gained more confidence in myself with each passing year. Roller derby finally gave me the confidence I needed in my body. It makes J and I feel good when we eat better, exercise and save money. Above all, we continue to do things that make US happy, and make US feel good (trips to Chicago simply to visit museums, anyone?).

There’s still a long way to go in the confidence battle (I think it’s a life-long one), but I think Emily has some good tips here:

On diet…

I’ve never done a bona fide “diet,” per se, but my new motto is simple: when I’m craving something, I have it. I find that when I take out the notion of something being off limits, I don’t crave it as fervently….

On scheduling…

Creating a routine provides a sense of control that is very comforting and when I stick to a semi-loose schedule each week, I’m happiest….

On giving yourself a break…

I’m a perfectionist, which I’ve come to realize is completely exhausting. I used to beat myself up over the littlest things, but I’ve learned to give myself a break. I’ve realized that all of those moments add up to create a much more stressful life….

Read the rest over at Cupcakes and Cashmere.


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