I finally did it: today, I told my manager at Half-Price Books that I would be leaving at the end of the month. *Sadface* I’ve been putting this off forEVER, for a variety of reasons. One, I was afraid of spilling the beans too early, as I still wanted to be treated like a regular employee. I am (or was) in the midst of my price training, and I was hoping I would be completely approved to price by the time I gave notice. No such luck. I’m still unable to price kids books and nonfiction, and now, I’ll never be approved. *Hangs head in shame*
I was also terrified of letting down my boss and co-workers. I absolutely love working at Half-Price, and my co-workers are now my friends. Everyone has been so kind and welcoming, and the company has been so generous, I almost felt guilty about leaving. This is ridiculous considering I’m not quitting on a whim. I’m moving to Michigan, for Christ’s sake. Plus, I knew going into this that HPB wasn’t going to be my career. I knew I would probably be staying for less than a year. But that still doesn’t alleviate my feeling that I’m letting people down. I don’t know. I have my own set of guilt issues (hence why my grades were so high in school). When I set myself to a task, I feel I must SUCCEED and PESERVERE, outlast everyone else and come out on top. Quitting is not an option. Even when quitting is a geographical necessicity—it’s either quit or break up with Joel—it’s still hard for me to understand. The guilt remains.
However, I sucked up all my nerves and told my manager this morning, and I think it went relatively well. She’s normally a reserved person anyway, but she said she’s sorry to see me go and offered to give me a reccomendation. Now, I only have to worry about telling everyone else…eek! My manager said she would tell the shift leaders, leaving me to tell everyone else. Great. I’m hoping one of the shift leaders decides to engage in illegal gossip and spills the beans before I return to work on Friday. If I thought telling my boss would be hard, I can’t even imagine telling my close friends. I mean, these are the people I work with everyday. We gossip, laugh, talk, whine, tease. Ahhh! Anyway, like I said, I hope they find out from someone else other than me. I’m much better on the defensive anyway.
On this same subject, Joel and I will be venturing BACK up to Michigan tomorrow morning to look at even more houses to rent. Crossing my fingers we find—and can sign for—something this time. Joel’s mom asked me tonight if I was excited for the move; I said I was, but I would feel more comfortable if a few things were settled. Housing, for instance. I can handle the job search, even if I don’t find something before we move. But housing is making me nervous. Unfortunately, Joel’s in the midst of searching for and buying a new car—as if things weren’t complicated enough in our lives. And don’t forget Joel finishing his senior year of college. And I’m going to be in a wedding in less than a month. BAH!
OK, I think I need to look at the cutest picture in the world to calm myself:
However, if ANYONE reads this blog, I’d really appreciate any moving tips. I’m a little scared to death of moving to a new city/state, and so any support would be awesome. If you’re familiar with Detroit, all the better. If you’re familiar with Detroit and are a writer/journalist/book junkie…well, then, do you want a new friend?