Seduction by the stars

I don’t know if I believe in astrology:  I like to pass myself off as an intelligent, rational, logical human being.  The mysticism of religion piques my intellectual curiosity and admiration, but at some level, I don’t buy it.  I think a lot of parapsychology, mysticism, Scientology and Wiccanism is also a bunch of crap.  Interesting crap, but believable?  Give me a break.

However, I’m also a walking contradiction.  While I’m not sure if aliens have visited Earth during the past two millennia, my logical mind accepts that considering the vast size of the universe, it’s highly probable life exists on some other planet, in some form.  Also, as a loyal fan of Ghosthunters on Syfy, I believe ghosts exist in some form or another, and that humans can experience the paranormal.

But astrology?  Eh…  Like every teenage girl, I faithfully read my horoscope in Seventeen every month, desperately searching for news that love was on its way, and my fame and fortune was written in the stars.  However, did I really believe those four-line blurbs?  Of course not.

However, as a Virgo (born Sept. 21, placing me on the cusp between Virgo and Libra), I’ve always felt my sign fits me perfectly.  Like, perfect to the point of being creepy.  Virgos are intelligent, organized and practical.  They’re perfectionists.  They strive to succeed in whatever they do.  They nit pick, and tend to break down when things don’t go their way.  Sound familiar?  Well, since most of you don’t actually know me, it may not.  But let me assure you:  this is me.

Because I’m curious about my sign and what it says about me, I couldn’t help but pick up Seduction by the Stars:  An Astrological Guide to Love, Lust, and Intimate Relationships by Ren Lexander and Geraldine Rose while working in the metaphysics section at work.  I might have let it alone had I not casually opened to the page “Sex with a Virgo” (I kid you not).  I was hooked, and I had to bring it home to show Joel my neuroticisms aren’t my fault—it’s just my sign.

My favorite parts?  In “How to Handle a Relationship with a Virgo” (which I read to Joel this morning):

Key Tactic:  The most important thing is not to dislocate the orderliness of Virgo’s life.  They want a neat life with neat relationships…

Virgos invented the phrase: “A place for everything and everything in its place.”  This means you, by the way.  Cleaning and tidying up is a form of therapy for Virgos.  Virgo fundamentalists seem to be on a mission to stamp out dirt and deception.  They believe that vacuuming and tidying can save the world.

Sound familiar?

Must Do’s:
Bathe frequently
Be patient
Share the cleaning
Put things back where they belong
Bring them an occasional bunch of flowers

If I had a nickel for every time I nagged Joel to put things away, I wouldn’t need to be job hunting.  However, I urge all my readers to give Virgos a chance, because

You won’t believe your luck in having found such a genuinely caring, dependable, supportive partner.  You’ll be able to relax and feel secure with someone who is loyal, monogamous, responsible and fair.  You’ll feel encouraged to join them in their admirable quest to be healthy, wealthy and wise.  They’ll help you create a well-ordered existence: a neat home, healthful food, regular hours.  And as an added bonus, they remain youthful into middle age.

Yeah, we’re hot and stay hot.  The book also says we keep our waistlines (good to know!), are often lean-limbed, have youthful, glowing skin, and our smiles can light up a room.

On a side note, I thought some of things the authors said about Cancers (Joel’s sign) to be especially hilarious.  I didn’t believe all were true for Joel, although the male PMS rings a bell, as is the fact that Cancer is the moodiest sign, and they’re champion cuddlers.  They also like to mother, and I’m happy to say Joel takes care of me very well.


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